Monday, April 12, 2010

We Had A Fight

Since this blog is all about being honest, I thought I'd air a little of our dirty laundry and share a recent newlywed squabble we had. Perhaps you can relate.

This weekend our church hosted a Disciple Now weekend. It's basically a weekend-long youth conference with speakers, music, food, and community service stuff, along with lots of fun. Mark worked as a sponsor at this event. The kids stay at host homes, and some of the adults stay there as well, but thankfully, Mark decided to come home and drive back in the mornings.

So, Friday came, and Mark had a great time out and about at the retreat. He came home around 11:30pm. I would have liked it be a little earlier, but you know, who wants to be the nagging wife? So, I was just glad he was home and listened as he told about the event.

Saturday morning he left before 8:00 to go back and hang out. I went to an event from 9:00 - 5:00 that was pretty tiring, then hung out with my sister for a little bit before finally getting home at around 9:15pm.

Then it all started. I got home and the dogs were deservedly begging for attention. The neediness of a 14 year old blind/diabetic/hypothyroid/toothless dog, compounded with that of an 8 week old puppy is pretty intense. Then Miguel had a sort of accident in the living room that indicated to me that he had a bacterial infection, so I had to start him on some meds. He wasn't feel well, and Melvin (yes, that's the name) wanted to run all over the apartment and play play play.

I had to be at work at 7:15am the next morning, so my bedtime was quickly approaching. I asked Mark if he would mind coming home a little early to help with the dogs. And by early, I meant leave the event at 10:00pm (not really that early) and skip the final session. He said he really wanted to say. I said just try to come as quickly as you can, please.

So, being on my own, I tried to get the dogs to calm down a little, and got ready for bed. I'm in bed around 10:30, trying to sleep, and the dogs are pulling out all the stops. As I'm trying to keep Melvin from thinking I'm his prey, and keep Miguel quiet, anger is started to well up inside of me. I developed a little bit of a "Woe is me" attitude. Here I am, all by myself, trying to sleep, these dogs are acting like idiots, and Mark is out hanging out with teenagers and having a grand old time. And I have to be at work in just a few hours! 

The dogs calm down for what I think will be the night until they start up again a few minutes later - it was a mean trick. I start slipping them melatonin in an effort to get them to sleep and I start getting angrier. I look at my clock at it's 11:37pm. Did I know where my husband was? Certainly not at home with me being a helper!

So, I sent a text message telling Mark how I am feeling about this whole situation and continue to try to sleep. The text message might not have been the nicest one I have ever sent

He got home sometime after midnight and then I could finally get a little rest. I woke up late (big surprise), and was still angry when I got to work, as Mark and I hadn't had a chance to talk things over. And believe me, I had a speech ready.

I carried about my business until my boss started chatting with me about how everything was going, and I told him about my lack of sleep, my late awakening, and my bad attitude toward Mark. I tried not to go into too much detail, but let's just say he got the gist of it.

Then it happened. God must have a sense of humor, or must really just love my husband.

After I delivered my complaint to my boss, he and I were standing in a hallway waiting, when a church member walked up to us. Not just any church member. The church member at whose house Mark had stayed for the weekend.

She marched right up to Jeff and I and she started talking about Mark. Not the usual "it was nice to meet your husband" talk. We're talking a monologue that sounded so rehearsed and perfect that she was ready to deliver it to a dignitary.

I just LOVED your husband this weekend! He was so sweet and such a helper! I don't ever see men like him at that age. I mean, I know there are good solid older men, but meeting Mark this weekend really gave me hope that there are good Christian guys out there for my girls. Now I know there are awesome young men out there and they can find them. He was just such a delight. And so serving.... etc etc etc.

I'm talking, if this lady wasn't married, I think she'd go for Mark.

My boss is casually standing next to me, I'm sure just loving every minute of this. And I'm thinking, "Lady, this is not what I want to be hearing right now and you are totally ruining my case!"

All I could muster to say in response to her praise was "He's a keeper!" through my clenched jaw.

And then she walked away and boss turned to me and just starting chanting "Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!"

Okay, YES, I do feel guilty! Yes, she is right. I DO have an amazing godly husband who loves the Lord and loves me and is the most servant hearted person I know. But can't a girl at least have the right to tell her husband a piece of her mind without being reminded of his apparent sainthood?!

Perhaps it was the Lord's way of reminding me what a blessing Mark is, and that even though he might drive me crazy at times, I wouldn't trade him for anything.

So, after that, Mark showed up and looked like he knew I was getting ready to give him a piece of my mind. He looked dejected, worried, and downright pathetic. And when it came time for me to deliver my best speech, all I could do was laugh and give him a big hug. And of course, I told him how it made me feel that he didn't come home when I needed him, but I told him in a much more loving way than I would have had I been left to my own demise.

I think he now feels the same away about that particular church member that she feels about him. I would, too, if I were him.



  1. =) I can definetly relate to that. There are times I'm SO thankful that I don't say the first thing that comes to mind when I'm mad at Jeremy because when I calm down later I know that I would regret it so much!

  2. Oh Kathryn! How funny. I completely agree that the Lord has a sense of humor!

    I also just realized that you guys really never had a fight. You had a fight all by yourself and even eventually resolved it all with out him, HA HA!

  3. I can so relate! I'm glad it was resolved semi-peacfully. ;)

  4. haha oh girl we've all been there! Don't you just love our Heavenly Father's sense of humor?

  5. Girl we had a tiff of our own too...but I step back and it's good to realize the good men we got even when we sometimes don't want to.

  6. HAHA!! I really LOVE this one!! HAHA!! I have been there! My hubby was a Youth Pastor for 30 years and now a Sr. Pastor for about 6 years... CAMP was always a FIGHT! EVERY YEAR! Until about 12 years or so in... he realized that all I needed was to be acknowledged! HAHA!! We are now at I am going to try the honey and oregenol... I had NEVER heard that before!! I have to LOOK up HOW I do that tho... I had to look at youtube to SEE how to use a netipot too!!

  7. Love the story Kathryn. I think we've all been there!! I love when I get hurt because the hubs is wanting to do the right thing... I mean really... what's my problem


  8. Your Blog is really cute! Thank you for stopping by and commenting on my Blog. ;-) Have a Great Day!

  9. Sometimes our fights can be so trivial, or we don't think. But it's great to get through them and learn!
    Love your blog :) I'm following!


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