Sunday morning Mark asked our loan officer friend what he thought about us getting a home loan. He said that we should go ahead and get pre-approved and start looking. I was sooo excited and asked Mark if we could schedule a showing of the for-sale-by-owner house that I had already fallen in love with.
The owners didn't answer when Mark called about viewing their house, so Mark left a message, I sent an email, and after church we went to a couple of open houses. The owner of the beloved house called back and we scheduled a viewing for later that afternoon.
I. Was. Freaking. Out.
The time came and we drove to the house where we met one of the owners (her name was Shannon - she and her husband own the home and have four kids). I was so nervous because I knew I already loved it before we opened the door. Words really can't explain what happened when I walked in. We went in through the garage with Shannon and as soon as I stepped inside the kitchen I felt it. It was this wave. It was overwhelming. It was like total peace and yet I was freaking out. Because I knew I wanted this house. I mean, literally, I had only seen one room but I could envision myself walking in that kitchen every day. It was like something you see on one of those house hunting shows. This was MY house. Our house.
I tried to push those feelings down because, well, I felt like it was a little ridiculous since it was almost the first house we had looked at. Plus, we had just decided to look and we hadn't even gotten pre-approved yet. Even considering all of those things, I knew I wanted that house. When we were almost done looking, my boss and his daughter (my friend) came over to check it out since they live close by. We all really liked the house - and I loved the house and continued to freak out inside, trying to keep it together on the outside.
Before we left, Shannon broke the news to me. They had an offer on the house, and they were waiting for the end of the weekend to decide if they were going to accept it. The end of the weekend. Hello! It was a Sunday afternoon.The end of the weekend was in like two hours. I was crushed. I knew we couldn't make an offer that day, even though you better believe I wanted to. I knew it wouldn't be wise, plus we hadn't been pre-approved yet. So we all left, and I was heart broken. I emailed the seller and told her that we didn't want to make a rush offer, but that if the offer fell through to please let us know. She wrote back and said they had already submitted a counter offer and would let us know if something fell through. Mark had to listen to me go on and on the whole forty minute drive to my mom's that evening. It was at that point we started praying about this particular house and situation.
Later, disappointed and dejected, I began to scour the internet. Surely, I thought, there were other houses like this. I just hadn't looked enough. But the more I looked, the worse I felt about the whole thing. There really weren't other houses like that.
My behavior over the next three days was nothing to be proud of. I moped. I sulked. I threw myself on the bed and told Mark repeatedly that that house had broken my heart. I started calling it the "house that we do not speak of" and "the house that broke my heart". I searched online and what do you know but that every time I did a search that was the first house that came up. That house haunted me. When I wasn't depressed about it, I was imagining where I was going to put my furniture in that house. And then I would shake myself and return to my heartbroken state. I just couldn't get rid of the feeling that that was our home.
I cannot explain to you how burdened I felt about that house. I could hardly eat and I just felt like I needed to pray about it 24/7. Mark prayed with me each night about it. We prayed very specifically for direction that if that was the perfect home for us that the contract would fall through. And you know, as much as I knew that God had a perfect house in store for us, I wanted that perfect house to be the one I had already fallen in love with.
During those few days, we got pre-approved, and my realtor sent me a list of homes that as she said, didn't have everything that the dream house had, but that they had some of the things. Some of the things. ugh. One by one, Mark and I crossed those homes off our list for whatever reason.
Finally, on Tuesday night, I told Mark I couldn't take it any longer. That house was holding me hostage and I couldn't move on with my life. I needed some closure. I couldn't bear to contact the seller again because I didn't want to hear the news that the house was sold, so I asked Mark if he would ask about the status of the house. So Tuesday night Mark sent an email asking if the house had sold.
I didn't even want to know if she had written back because I didn't want to hear the sad news.
Tuesday night we didn't hear anything.
Around noon I got a call from Mark. He said he heard back from Shannon about the house and had sent me the email. I read it and fought back tears.
TO BE CONTINUED...