A Bittersweet Day

***This post is a little sappy, so beware***

Yesterday I visited my alma mater for an all day event that was held there.  I have gone back to my college since graduation before, but yesterday, for some reason, I was overcome with emotions. I got a little choked up.

I know everyone’s collegiate experiences are different, but mine was extraordinary. I loved my school. I loved my professors, my friends, what I learned there, and how it changed me.

It’s always so odd going back to a place where you were once so integrated. I was flooded with memories yesterday and it was so overwhelming.

I walked into the student union and walked by the mail area. I saw the lady that always gave me a package if I had one in my mailbox. She was still there, handing a package to an excited student. The smells were so familiar. A student asked me if I would be interested in attending an on campus event – I informed her I wasn’t a student.

I saw my freshman dorm and thought about all the wonderful friendships I formed there and the fun nights my friends and I shared.

I ate at the tea room that a dear friend of mine and I used to eat at every Friday. But she doesn’t live there anymore, so I sat at a table alone, and kept an open seat in her honor.

I saw all the same buildings, the same walls. Yet the people were different. Some were the same, but they didn’t know me. And not that they should know me.  But in the past, familiar faces were everywhere. It was home. 

I saw a student and for a split second thought it was one of my classmates. Then I realized that no, he wouldn’t be there. He graduated.

I forgot how windy it was. As I walked across campus I had to grab my hair so it didn’t slap my face and wipe off my lip gloss. I remembered how many times I had to do that, and how frustrated I always got with that wind.

When I left it was dark. I remembered walking the campus at night and the evening scent there brought me back to nights of walking or jogging on campus and the time I spent praying while I was out there. It was almost instinctive to start praying once I stepped foot outside in the darkness on those sidewalks.

I talked to Mark on the phone while I was driving through campus and recalled the astronomical hours we spent on the phone that long distance portion of our dating, and then driving home on the weekends to see each other.

I thought about how my four years at that school so helped to shape me into the person I am now. My beliefs, my worldview, my relationship with the Lord, my friends. That school really dug deep into my heart. And not that I want to still be a student there. I know there is a time for everything. I remember that while I was there and hating studying, I always forced myself to enjoy those moments, because I knew there would be a day when they would only be memories.

As much as I love my life right now and am so thankful for everything, it’s a little sad remembering those precious days I won’t get to live through again.

So I work on making new memories and not wishing any days away. And I bought a hoodie from the school bookstore.

God Bless OBU.

~Kathryn